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Patty: "Any questions?"
Otto: "Yeah, one: Have you always been a chick? I mean, I don't want to offend you, but you WERE born a man, weren't you? You can tell me... I'm open-minded."

Otto: "But if you need proof of my identity, I wrote my name in my underwear... Oh wait, these aren't mine..."
Skinner: "Well that tears it. Until you get a license and wear your own underwear mister, you are suspended without pay."

Otto: "Hey, Bart-dude! Whoa, you look freaked..."
Bart: "Yeah, Otto-man, I've got a big test that I am NOT ready for. Could you please crash the bus or something?"
Otto: "Oh, sorry little buddy, can't do it on purpose... but hey, maybe you'll get lucky!"

Otto: "I got held back in the fourth grade myself. Twice. Look at me, man: now I DRIVE the school bus!"

Bart: "Otto, you know I respect you. I mean, you always let us throw stuff at cars and try to tip the bus on sharp turns."
Otto: "Heh, damn thing never goes over, does it?"

Homer: "Alright, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage."
Otto: "Wow, what's the catch?"

Otto: "Alcohol increases your ability to drive..."