All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

312_2months.wav(44K) 312_2months.mp3(44K)

: "Hey you guys, you know what time of year it is?  Of course, dumbass, its Halloween.  That's right, and that means only 2 more months til Christmas!"

312_72sho...wav(16K) 312_72sho...mp3(16K)

: "Eric, its only Halloween.  Thats only 72 shopping days left for you!"

312_abomination.wav(60K) 312_abomination.mp3(60K)

: "Halloween is an abomination of God.  I would do anything to stop this wretched unholy holiday."

312_adeadbody.wav(36K) 312_adeadbody.mp3(36K)

: "What's the scariest thing we could get? Spooky spider?  No, a dead body!"

312_arresthim.wav(44K) 312_arresthim.mp3(44K)

: "Well, what are you waiting for Barbrady, arrest that man.  No, arrest him!"

312_callt...wav(24K) 312_callt...mp3(24K)

: "Oh we don't do anything; we're just the watchmen."

312_carols.wav(51K) 312_carols.mp3(51K)

: "Cartman will you stop singing Christmas carols?!"

312_catalog.wav(104K) 312_catalog.mp3(104K)

: "Lemme see... I want, this, and this, and..."

312_cheese.wav(30K) 312_cheese.mp3(30K)

: "Then all he needed was some sound effects created by this cup and a piece of cheese."

312_chewbacca.wav(28K) 312_chewbacca.mp3(28K)

: "And the winner of the costume contest is... Wendy for her Chewbacca costume!"

312_chickens.wav(25K) 312_chickens.mp3(25K)

: "Ha ha ha ha ha, we scared you chickens!"

312_chowderhead.wav(37K) 312_chowderhead.mp3(37K)

: "This map doesn't make any sense.  Thats because you'vr got it upside down chowderhead!"

312_clearout.wav(24K) 312_clearout.mp3(24K)

: "You best clear outta here, there's pirate ghosts and they'll kill yah."

312_closingsong.wav(317K) 312_closingsong.mp3(317K)

: "Korn's debut single, Falling Away From Me, from their new album, Issues as played during the end credits"

312_cool.wav(42K) 312_cool.mp3(42K)

: "Oh, I don't wanna dig up my dead grandma cuz I'm such a goodie two-shoes!"

312_cooldryplace.wav(19K) 312_cooldryplace.mp3(19K)

: "Now he probably would make love to the dead body in a cool dry place as not to allow further decomposition."

312_cottonswaps.wav(35K) 312_cottonswaps.mp3(35K)

: "Yeah, and then he used this flashlight and some cotton swabs to create the ghosts!"

312_crispy.wav(20K) 312_crispy.mp3(20K)

: "What does this dead grandma look like.  Ah, she was all like crunchy and crispy and stuff..."

312_defiled.wav(58K) 312_defiled.mp3(58K)

: "Ms. Broslofski, somebody has defined your mother's grave..."

312_disre...wav(36K) 312_disre...mp3(36K)

: "Somebody's probably making love to her corpse as we speak."

312_dogvomit.wav(63K) 312_dogvomit.mp3(63K)

: "The dog vomits up grandma."

312_dontlaugh.wav(78K) 312_dontlaugh.mp3(78K)

: "Mom, don't laugh!"

312_dontr...wav(18K) 312_dontr...mp3(18K)

: "Now do you want to get back at the 5th graders or not?!"

312_formofkorn.wav(126K) 312_formofkorn.mp3(126K)

: "Alright gang, looks like we're going to have to use our special Korn powers!"

312_fullwrath.wav(62K) 312_fullwrath.mp3(62K)

: "Korn is a devil worshiping group that plays violent music.  If we allow that demon band to play on this most unholy of holidays, we may incur the full wrath of evil!"

312_gay.wav(67K) 312_gay.mp3(67K)

: "This one time, like 8 months ago, I saw two guys kissing in the park and that was the gayest thing I've ever seen until I saw the KOZY FM Halloween Haunt ."

312_gaywads.wav(45K) 312_gaywads.mp3(45K)

: "Aw dude, that was just the 5th graders.  Yeah, they're trying to scare everybody 'cause they're gaywads!"

312_genitalia.wav(46K) 312_genitalia.mp3(46K)

: "Oh sweet, life-sized blow-up Antonio Banderas love doll...with realistic genitalia!"

312_gentlemen.wav(24K) 312_gentlemen.mp3(24K)

: "First we just need to inform you about the people or persons out there digging up bodies to have sex with them."

312_ghostsback.wav(37K) 312_ghostsback.mp3(37K)

: "Oh no, the pirate ghosts are back!"

312_giveitup.wav(20K) 312_giveitup.mp3(20K)

: "Give it up Kenny, you're not going to win the costume contest!"

312_glasses.wav(105K) 312_glasses.mp3(105K)

: "My glasses got to be around here somewhere!"

312_gonnabefun.wav(18K) 312_gonnabefun.mp3(18K)

: "Think about it, if your grandma knew that she could help you, even in death, she would want to."

312_grandma.wav(57K) 312_grandma.mp3(57K)

: "So where the hell are we gonna get a dead body?  We're gonna dig up Kyle's dead grandma!"

312_groov...wav(26K) 312_groov...mp3(26K)

: "Sure we'll help you!   If there's one thing we like more than playing music its solving a groovy mystery!"

312_handsmells.wav(11K) 312_handsmells.mp3(11K)

: "You guys, my hand totally smells like spaghetti now!"

312_helltopay.wav(130K) 312_helltopay.mp3(130K)

: "No, don't go to the docks, Argh!!!"

312_hikenny.wav(32K) 312_hikenny.mp3(32K)

: "Hey, Kenny."

312_imsweet.wav(80K) 312_imsweet.mp3(80K)

: "Hi, grandma.  Hi, Kyle.  Ahhh!"

312_insane.wav(18K) 312_insane.mp3(18K)

: "Dude, she's perfect, she only died a few months ago."

312_ispy.wav(172K) 312_ispy.mp3(172K)

: "I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter 'P'..."

312_jonathanno.wav(35K) 312_jonathanno.mp3(35K)

: "Hey, there's Antonio Banderas, he'll help us!"

312_kennycostume.wav(51K) 312_kennycostume.mp3(51K)

: "Nice costume Kenny, you think you're going to win with that?"

312_kornintro.wav(68K) 312_kornintro.mp3(68K)

: "Hey, you're that band Korn!"

312_laboratory.wav(39K) 312_laboratory.mp3(39K)

: "Hey, spooky laboratory you guys!"

312_lessp...wav(77K) 312_lessp...mp3(77K)

: "...So we all need to learn to be a little less perceptive...Yeah!..."

312_limbo.wav(35K) 312_limbo.mp3(35K)

: "Aw, I hate to see little clowns cry."

312_lunch.wav(29K) 312_lunch.mp3(29K)

: "The dog eats grandma."

312_lynchmob.wav(60K) 312_lynchmob.mp3(60K)

: "Nothing ever went wrong in this town before that evil Korn band showed up."

312_mayo.wav(54K) 312_mayo.mp3(54K)

: "Now Allen will demonstrate what having sex with a dead body might sound like."

312_necrophilia.wav(147K) 312_necrophilia.mp3(147K)

: "A person who steals bodies to have sex with them is called a necrophiliacs."

312_nograndma.wav(54K) 312_nograndma.mp3(54K)

: "Ah, problem guys.   What's the problem?  No grandma."

312_occult.wav(38K) 312_occult.mp3(38K)

: "Halloween is an abomination of God, a celebration of the occult!"

312_oldlegend.wav(107K) 312_oldlegend.mp3(107K)

: "There's an old legend in South Park that says these docks are haunted by pirate ghosts."

312_pirateghosts.wav(129K) 312_pirateghosts.mp3(129K)

: "They're not pirate ghosts, Jonathan, they're ghost pirates."

312_piratelore.wav(33K) 312_piratelore.mp3(33K)

: "Now why would pirate ghosts need a book on pirates?"

312_practice.wav(29K) 312_practice.mp3(29K)

: "Great rehearsal gang, that was really groovy!"

312_present.wav(38K) 312_present.mp3(38K)

: "Nah nah nah nah nah nah, guess what I got?!?"

312_priestright.wav(47K) 312_priestright.mp3(47K)

: "This is what we get for celebrating Halloween and letting that band Korn play."

312_promo.wav(65K) 312_promo.mp3(65K)

: "The KOZY FM promo."

312_pushfromtop.wav(44K) 312_pushfromtop.mp3(44K)

: "Ok, people, lets try to stay orderly.  The best way to do this is all get on one side and push it from the top."

312_reall...wav(44K) 312_reall...mp3(44K)

: "Oh, I guess they really were pirate ghosts..."

312_relax.wav(40K) 312_relax.mp3(40K)

: "No, lets dig up somebody else!"

312_respect.wav(39K) 312_respect.mp3(39K)

: "Alright that does it Cartman, thats my grandma, you show some bleep damned respect!"

312_seewhatitis.wav(29K) 312_seewhatitis.mp3(29K)

: "Maybe I can see what it is..."

312_setup.wav(63K) 312_setup.mp3(63K)

: "I think you're music and Halloween is an abomination.  Groovy, can you show us where to set up?"

312_signhere.wav(11K) 312_signhere.mp3(11K)

: "Sign here, and here, and here."

312_silverbells.wav(24K) 312_silverbells.mp3(24K)

: "Silver Bells, Silver Bells, its Christmas time you guys!"

312_sketch.wav(70K) 312_sketch.mp3(70K)

: "My partner Allen has drawn a sketch of what having sex with a dead body might look like."

312_sockets.wav(26K) 312_sockets.mp3(26K)

: "By now he's probably even removed her eyes and made love to the empty sockets as well."

312_spaghetti.wav(84K) 312_spaghetti.mp3(84K)

: "Ew, feel that cold spaghetti!"

312_splitup.wav(75K) 312_splitup.mp3(75K)

: "Lets have everyone who enjoys having obstacles in their life which they can overcome go this way and everyone who's insecurities sabotage their potential to overcome those obstacles go that way."

312_spookyspider.wav(59K) 312_spookyspider.mp3(59K)

: "Spooky spider, thats pretty scary.  That's not scary, fatass!"

312_squirrels.wav(29K) 312_squirrels.mp3(29K)

: "And all he had to do then was create a ghost ship by using some candles, a mirror, and two squirrels."

312_stiffdry.wav(33K) 312_stiffdry.mp3(33K)

: "Your mother's body would be stiff and dry so he would have to have it soaked in warm water for several hours before making love to it."

312_surprise.wav(29K) 312_surprise.mp3(29K)

: "Oh mother, Antonio Banderas life-sized blow-up doll, what a surprise!"

312_sweetcostume.wav(54K) 312_sweetcostume.mp3(54K)

: "Oh Come on Kenny, you never have a sweet costume!"

312_swisscheese.wav(59K) 312_swisscheese.mp3(59K)

: "It is highly possible that he has created new orifaces in her decomposing flesh."

312_toldyouso.wav(35K) 312_toldyouso.mp3(35K)

: "I warned you, I told you this would happen!"

312_trap.wav(69K) 312_trap.mp3(69K)

: "Hey, I got an idea, we should set a groovy trap!"

312_watchmen.wav(288K) 312_watchmen.mp3(288K)

: "The funeral watchmen debrief Mrs. Broslofski."

312_whorehouse.wav(21K) 312_whorehouse.mp3(21K)

: "Aw nuts, c'mon Ned, this ain't a whorehouse its a hor-ror house!"

312_wrong...wav(34K) 312_wrong...mp3(34K)

: "Your Korn powers really came through for us!"

312_youhoo.wav(19K) 312_youhoo.mp3(19K)

: "The snow is falling and friends are calling Yoo-Hoo!"