All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

dixie.wav(28K) dixie.mp3(28K)

Gwyneth Paltrow: "Hi I'm Dixie, Dixie Normis."

shagnow.wav(100K) shagnow.mp3(100K)

Tom Cruise: "Well Miss Normis, shall we shag now or shag later?"
Gwyneth Paltrow: "Oh Austin behave."

mini-me.wav(246K) mini-me.mp3(246K)

Kevin Spacey: "Hey, Powers. You better watch your friggin self because this is one doctor who does make house calls. Right, Mini Me?"
Danny Devito: "Hey, bleepholes. I'm right over here. I'm Mini Me. Come and get me."

oscar.wav(252K) oscar.mp3(252K)

Steven Spielberg: "So Austin, What did you think of the opening credits?"
Austin Powers (Mike Myers): "Well I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the Grooviest filmmaker in the history of cinema is making a movie about my life. Very shagadelic, baby. Yeah! Having said that, I do have some thoughts."
Steven Spielberg: "(holding and pointing to his oscar.) Really? Uh my friend here thinks its fine the way it is."

oopsididit.wav(46K) oopsididit.mp3(46K)

Austin: "Oops! I did it again, baby. Yeah!"

scottydont.wav(211K) scottydont.mp3(211K)

Dr. Evil (Mike Meyers): "Mini Me loves chocolat, Scotty don't!"
Scott Evil (Seth Green): "What? I like chocolat fine, I just..."
Dr. Evil: "Scotty don't!"
Scott Evil: "(mocking) It's very familiar. Hang on, let me do what I do. Uh, would you stop?"
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "How about I what?"
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "what are you..."
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "I don't even..."
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "Honestly, isn't this..."
Dr. Evil: "How about you don't, ladies and gentlemen, Scotty Don't."

preparationh.wav(299K) preparationh.mp3(299K)

Dr. Evil: "Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through D were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call, Preparation H."
Scott Evil: "(laughing)"
Dr. Evil: "What?"
Scott Evil: "Why don't you just call it Operation Ass Cream, you ass!"
Dr. Evil: "I'm sorry, did you want some ice cream?"
Scott Evil: "Yes, I'd love some chocolat ass cream."

onthewhole.wav(166K) onthewhole.mp3(166K)

Dr. Evil: "On the whole, I think Preparation H feels good."
Scott Evil: "(laughing)"
Dr. Evil: "What is it now?"
Scott Evil: "No, nothing, you know what, I agree. Preparation H does feel good, on the hole."
Dr. Evil: "Well, I'm glad were sprechin zee the same lingidy."

surrounded.wav(50K) surrounded.mp3(50K)

Austin: "You're surrounded Dr. Evil."
Dr. Evil: "Shit."

fookmi.wav(248K) fookmi.mp3(248K)

Fook Mi (Diane Mizota): "Can I have autograph?"
Austin: "Of course. Your name is?"
Fook Mi: "Fook Mi."
Austin: "Oh behave, baby. Behave. Now, your name is?"
Fook Mi: "Fook Mi."
Austin: "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
Fook Mi: "No, Fook Mi, like this."
Austin: "Oh, I see. Your name is Fook Mi."

fookyu.wav(257K) fookyu.mp3(257K)

Fook Yu (Carrie Ann Inaba): "Here you go."
Austin: "Fook Mi, that was fast."
Fook Yu: "Fook Yu."
Austin: "Oh, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom and I don't care who knows it."
Fook Mi: "Austin, this my twin sister. Her name Fook Yu. Fook Yu. Fook Mi. See?"
Austin: "Twins. Twins."

privates.wav(145K) privates.mp3(145K)

Austin: "Gol Blimey! All your privates have had their privates painted gold. How bizare. Imagine: gilded talleywhackers, golden wedding tackle, 14 Karot trouser snakes..."
Basil Exposition (Michael York): "That's enough."
Austin: "Okay."

remember.wav(107K) remember.mp3(107K)

Dr. Evil: "Remember when I told you 'you're not so different, you and I'? 'You're not so different, you and I' See, I did say that."

myfather.wav(240K) myfather.mp3(240K)

Austin: "Now who has my father?"
Dr. Evil: "Uh oh! Someone has some daddy issues."
Austin: "Nothing could be my father from the truth."
Dr. Evil: "Oop! You said 'my father'."
Austin: "No I dadn't."
Dr. Evil: "Hawoh!"
Austin: "Didn't! Did not!"
Dr. Evil: "Shebah!"
Austin: "For me, this is a dad issue."
Dr. Evil: "Hooh!"
Austin: "Dead issue! Dead dad! Dead beat dad."
Dr. Evil: "Oha!"
Austin: "Daddy didn't love me."

oralexam.wav(148K) oralexam.mp3(148K)

French Teacher (Nichole Hiltz): "Don't forget Mr. Powers, later your have a brief oral exam."
Young Austin Powers (Aaron Himelstein): "Well, I hope it's mostly oral and not too brief, baby. You know, brief and oral exam..."

bestgrades.wav(60K) bestgrades.mp3(60K)

Dr. Evil: "Boo Frickety hoo! I had the best grades in the class and I didn't get didley squat."

boofrickety.wav(21K) boofrickety.mp3(21K)

Dr. Evil: "Boo Frickety hoo!"

yeahbaby.wav(20K) yeahbaby.mp3(20K)

Austin: "Yeah, baby. Yeah!"

holland.wav(52K) holland.mp3(52K)

Goldmember (Mike Meyers): "Hey everybody, I ma from Holland. Isn't that wierd?"

welcome.wav(50K) welcome.mp3(50K)

Goldmember: "Welcome to 1975 Austin Powers and father."

ilovegold.wav(36K) ilovegold.mp3(36K)

Goldmember: "I love gold."

tightlike.wav(122K) tightlike.mp3(122K)

Goldmember: "We are both swingers, you see. You have a tight body. Yes! I see that from your tight pants. Yes, you are tight like a tiger."

insane.wav(95K) insane.mp3(95K)

Austin: "You're insane, Goldmember!"
Goldmember: "(laughs) And that's the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it. K.C. And The Sunshine Band."

thedutch.wav(61K) thedutch.mp3(61K)

Nigel Powers (Michael Caine): "There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who are intollerant of other peoples' cultures, and the dutch."

dutch.wav(10K) dutch.mp3(10K)

Goldmember: "Dutch hater."

badnews.wav(113K) badnews.mp3(113K)

Goldmember: "And now, it is time to say goodbye. Dr. Evil's orders. Which for you, is bad news bears. Walter Matthau."

upyours.wav(19K) upyours.mp3(19K)

Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyoncé Knowles): "Up yours, jive turkey!"

lotta.wav(83K) lotta.mp3(83K)

Foxxy Cleopatra: "Well, the future better get ready for me. Because I'm Foxxy Cleopatra and I'm a whole lotta woman."

oncrack.wav(31K) oncrack.mp3(31K)

Prisoner #2 (Tommy 'Tiny' Lister): "I know guys on crack that makes more sence than you."

sexy.wav(26K) sexy.mp3(26K)

Foxxy Cleapatra: "You have the right to remain sexy, sugar."

moleyou.wav(61K) moleyou.mp3(61K)

Austin: "Yes, nice to mole you. Meet you! Nice to meet your mole. Don't say mole. I said mole."

mole1.wav(10K) mole1.mp3(10K)

Number Three (Fred Savage): "Bye."
Austin: "Mole."

mole2.wav(11K) mole2.mp3(11K)

Austin: "Mole."

mole3.wav(8K) mole3.mp3(8K)

Austin: "Mole!"

mole4.wav(25K) mole4.mp3(25K)

Ausitn: "Mole mole mole mole mole."

seamen.wav(207K) seamen.mp3(207K)

Dr. Evil: "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my new submarine lair. It's long and hard and full of sea men. (laughs to himself) Nothing? No, not even a titter? Tough sub."

machoman.wav(103K) machoman.mp3(103K)

Goldmember: "Dr. Evil, you look very tight. Yes, tight like a tiger. Yes, yes, yes."
Dr. Evil: "Really?"
Goldmember: "Yes, you look like a macho man. Village people."

creepy.wav(70K) creepy.mp3(70K)

Dr. Evil: "You know, Goldmember. I don't think that's something one dude should say to another dude. Yeah, a little creepy."

thatskin.wav(190K) thatskin.mp3(190K)

Goldmember: "Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, this is a keeper. Oh, yes."
Dr. Evil: "Ah right, you're not gonna put that skin in your mouth are you? You did, okay, that's just gross."
Goldmember: "Yes, salty. Yes, that was good."

ahole.wav(19K) ahole.mp3(19K)

Dr. Evil: "Way to go, a-hole!"

myballs.wav(89K) myballs.mp3(89K)

Dr. Evil: "All right, hold on, while I try and find my balls for gods sakes. One, two and three. Okay, I'm okay."

farger.wav(284K) farger.mp3(284K)

Goldmember: "Austin powers father."
Dr. Evil: "His what?"
Number Two (Robert Wagner): "His fasha, Dr. Evil."
Dr. Evil: "His farger? What's a farger?"
Goldmember: "His father. Yeah, the father."
Dr. Evil: "Yeah, Goldmember, I don't speak freaky deaky dutch. Okay, perve boy."
Goldmember: "Father is dad. Dad is father."
Dr. Evil: "Oh, his dad. Oh, his father."
Goldmember: "Yes, I have a dutch accent. Isn't that weird?"

cabbage.wav(54K) cabbage.mp3(54K)

Dr. Evil: "Meet Mini Me."
Nigel Powers: "Oh, blimey. I thought I smelled cabbage."

yoohoo.wav(175K) yoohoo.mp3(175K)

Goldmember: "Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoohoo gold? It's kinda my thing, you know."
Dr. Evil: "How about no! You crazy dutch bastard."

tripod.wav(137K) tripod.mp3(137K)

Nigel Powers: "My word, you're a tripod. What do you feed that thing? It's like a baby's arm holding an apple. The good news is, you ever get tired, you can use it as a kickstand."

diaper.wav(80K) diaper.mp3(80K)

Fat Bastard (Mike Meyers): "Ah, jesus bleep, this diaper is making my nuts rub together. It's gonna start a fire!"

notright.wav(24K) notright.mp3(24K)

Austin: "That's not right."
Foxxy Cleopatra: "Sure ain't."

takeacrap.wav(42K) takeacrap.mp3(42K)

Fat Bastard: "Are we done here? I've gotta take a crap."

anycorn.wav(30K) anycorn.mp3(30K)

Fat Bastard: "What the... I did n' have any corn!"

rosebud.wav(155K) rosebud.mp3(155K)

Fat Bastard: "Hey, diaper lady! Here's my diaper. I think I might have pinched on off too soon. Oh I... I left a rosebud in there for you."

tities.wav(27K) tities.mp3(27K)

Fat Bastard: "Oh, my tities!"

arrest.wav(15K) arrest.mp3(15K)

Foxxy Cleopatra: "You under arrest, sugar."

soilyourself.wav(500K) soilyourself.mp3(500K)

Austin: "Did you just soil yourself?"
Fat Bastard: "Maybe. It did sound a little wet, didn't it right at the end. Let's have a smell, alright. Ooh, wafting, wafting. Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? This is magic. Alright, analasis. Oh, it smells like carrots and throw up. Oh, that could gag a maggot. I smell like hot sick. Ass and a dead carcasss. Oh, even stink would say that stinks. You know when you go in an apartment building and you smell other peoples cooking on each floor, and you go 'what are they cookin?' That plus crap."

sharks.wav(47K) sharks.mp3(47K)

Dr. Evil: "You mean I actually have frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads?"

onfire.wav(27K) onfire.mp3(27K)

Dr. Evil: "Scottie's on fire!"

tinyone.wav(71K) tinyone.mp3(71K)

Goldmember: "The tiny one can't take a hint. He doesn't understand. He is small."

linguist.wav(70K) linguist.mp3(70K)

Austin: "You speak Japanese?"
Foxxy Cleapatra: "A little."
Austin: "Well, you might be a cunning linguist, but I'm a master debator."

idontknow.wav(76K) idontknow.mp3(76K)

Austin: "Mr. Roboto is lying to us."
Foxxy Cleapatra: "Tell me something I don't know."
Austin: "I open mouth kissed a horse once."
Foxxy Cleapatra: "Say what?"
Austin: "That's something you don't know."

godzilla.wav(115K) godzilla.mp3(115K)

Japanese Pedestrian (Brian Tee): "Run! It's Godzilla!"
Japanese Pedestrian (Masi Oka): "It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws, it's not."
Japanese Pedestrian: "Still we shoul run like it is Godzilla!"
Japanese Pedestrian: "Though it isn't."

goldiewang.wav(207K) goldiewang.mp3(207K)

Goldmember: "Breaker breaker one niner, this is Goldie Wang. Over."
Dr. Evil: "Ten-four there Goldie Wang. This is Rubber Duckie. What's your Ten-Twenty? Over."
Goldmember: "I've got Preparation H in my rear and Smokie The Bear on my back door. We got us a convoy. Over."
Dr. Evil: "Yee-haw! Copy that. Son of a bitch, pile of munkey nuts."

melons.wav(554K) melons.mp3(554K)

Johnson (Clint Howard): "Sir, Dr. Evil's not bluffing. One of our satelites is falling out of orbit."
General Clark (Kevin Cooney): "Which one?"
Johnson: "It's the one that looks like a pair of..."
Female Vendor (Donna D'Errico-Sixx): "Mellons! Big juicy Mellons!"
Male Shopper (Fred Stoller): "Are they nice and firm?"
Female Vendor: "Well, what do you think?"
Male Shopper: "Look at that. It looks like a set of giant..."
Shirtless Fan 'T' (Greg Grunberg): "Hey A and N, you're late."
Shirtless Fan 'A' (Brad Grunberg): "How we doin', man? Yeah!"
All Six Shirtless Fans (Except I he mouths whoo instead of yeah): "Go Titans, yeah!"
Shirtless Fan 'A': "Check it out. Those remind me of..."
Ozzy Osbourne: "Boobs!"
Sharon Osbourne: "Boobs, Ozzy?"
Ozzy Osbourne: "These filmmakers are just (beep) boobs."
Kelly Osbourne: "What do you mean, Dad?"
Ozzy Osbourne: "Well, they're using the same (beep) joke as they did in the last Austin Powers movie."
Sharon Osbourne: "What (beep) joke?"
Jack Osbourne: "You know, the (beep) joke about the long smooth rocket that looks like some guys'..."
General Clark: "Johnson."
Johnson: "Yes, sir?"
General Clark: "Any sign of that satelite?"
Johnson: "No, sir. It's gone."

peaceout.wav(35K) peaceout.mp3(35K)

Dr. Evil: "Gentlemen, you have my demands. Peace out."

switchedon.wav(46K) switchedon.mp3(46K)

Austin: "Cool, baby. You look very switched on."

smartypants.wav(103K) smartypants.mp3(103K)

Goldmember: "Not so fast smarty pants. Dr. Evil, you might not want to destroy the world, but I do."

shoosting.wav(41K) shoosting.mp3(41K)

Goldmember: "Nobody try anything stupid or the shooting begins."

yournuts.wav(85K) yournuts.mp3(85K)

Austin: "You know, Dr. Evil, I used to think you were crazy."
Dr. Evil: "I know."
Austin: "But now I can see your nuts. Ah, thank you."

pancake.wav(79K) pancake.mp3(79K)

John Travolta: "Hey bleepholes! Do I have time for a last smoke and a pancake or what?"

subway.wav(227K) subway.mp3(227K)

Austin: "Fat Bastard? But you're not fat anymore?"
Fat Bastard: "I went on the Subway diet. You know, just like Jared. I've lost 180 pounds."
Austin: "Congratulations, baby."
Fat Bastard: "Thank you. I do have a bit of excess skin though.Bit of a problem yeah. And unfortunately my neck does look like a vagina."

kickstand.wav(149K) kickstand.mp3(149K)

Britney Spears: "(during the credits) Is... Is it true what they say about you? Kickstand? Really? Um, can I give you my cell phone number please?"

andygibb.wav(84K) andygibb.mp3(84K)

Goldmember: "(from a deleted scene) All I know is that I am having an Amsterdam good time, yes. I just want you to be my everything. Andy Gibb."

idiot.wav(752K) idiot.mp3(752K)

Dr. Evil: "(from a deleted scene) I now declare this frickin' idiot convention open. Oh, and I have some other good news. Yeah, we're in first place in the frickin' idiot league."
Goldmember: "I'll keep that one."
Dr. Evil: "Everyone who is not a frickin' idiot in this sub lair please take one step forward."
Goldmember: "Right."
Dr. Evil: "Not so fast, everyone who is in this submarine lair. Oh, Goldmember..."
Goldmember: "Yes?"
Dr. Evil: "I've got an anagram for you. I fit Iron Dick."
Goldmember: "Yes, I fit iron dick. Yes, it is an anagarm so that's a jumble word. Uh, jumbling, okay, carry the seven. Divided by..."
Dr. Evil: "Yeah, can't get it? I fit iron dick. Frickin' idiot. F R I C K I N I D I O T. With a frick frick here, and a frick frick there, here a frick, there a frick, everywhere a frick frick. Dr. Evil had a sub filled with frickin' idiots. (Goldmember chimes in. Mini Me claps.) Thank you Mini Me."

fahza.wav(608K) fahza.mp3(608K)

Goldmember: "(from a deleted scene) Sure you can kill me. But then, what happens to Austin Powers' father?"
Foxxy Cleopatra: "Fahza?"
Goldmember: "You know, mothe and father, and the father comes home and 'I am the father. What is going one here?' and then the mother has been eating bon bons and then the father he comes in he says 'I have a lot of money because I am a bacon bringer homer' and the mother goes 'I don't care. I have married well below my station in life' and the father says 'you should not say that. That is an inside thought not an outside thought' and the mother says 'I don't care because I was at a wine and cheese party and I say bad things'. You know like a mother. Mother's got a squeezebox, father doesn't sleep at night. In and out and in and out and in and out. The father. Father, father, (singing indistinctly). You know, like his dad. Austin powers' dad, okay."

aparty.wav(72K) aparty.mp3(72K)

Austin: "(from a deleted scene) Do you know what I'm in the mood for? A party. Who wants to come to my pad for a swinging schindig, huh."

threwup.wav(18K) threwup.mp3(18K)

Scott Evil: "(From a deleted scene.) I threw up in my mouth a little bit."