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Ross Jennings (Jeff Daniels): "Come on, let's go find that spider. And let's find your mom to take care of that spider. Honey, we're in the living room. We need you to kill a spider."

Bunny Beechwood (Theo Schwartz): "Want to blow up a bullfrog?"
Shelly Jennings (Marlene Katz): "Ok."

Delbert McClintock (John Goodman): "Bad wood."
Molly Jennings (Harley Jane Kozak): "Well, so, what do we do?"
Delbert: "Tear out bad wood, put in good wood."

Ross: "Milt, why don't you cover the living room. (sighs) Chris, why don't you check out back. And uh Lloyd, take the kitchen. And I'll just uh, I'll oversee the uh, I'll just coordinate the uh, I'll just stay right here."

Ross: "Chris, I'm scared to death."
Chris Collins (Brian McNamara): "Yeah, we all are, but our brains secrete a neurotransmitter that enables us to deal with them. Come on."
Ross: "I don't think I have that particular neurotransmitter."

Delbert: "But, I will hunt down the alegid arachnid and spritz him to kingdom come."

Delbert: "Yeah, that's right, I'm bad."

Dr James Atherton (Julian Sands): "Might you have brought it with you?"
Delbert: "Actually, he's probably still on the bottom of my shoe. You really can't tell what it is anymore."

Delbert: "No, I frankly doubt that the nest is in the barn."
Ross: "Well, I frankly know it is Delbert. I was in the barn. I saw a web in the barn. There is a web in the barn."
Delbert: "A web would indicate and arachnoid presence."

Delbert: "Rock'n'roll."